Growing up, the author recalls that birthdays were more about acceptance than celebration. While their parents ensured their children had memorable birthdays, they themselves avoided the spotlight. Gifts, cakes, and even mentions of their own birthdays were largely off-limits, creating an atmosphere of awkwardness around the topic.
The author reflects on their parents’ attitudes toward birthdays. They remember few occasions where they were encouraged to celebrate their parents’ special days. Even when they did give gifts, it felt strange, as if they were breaking an unspoken rule. The mother seemed to shy away from the idea of aging, while the father viewed birthday celebrations as childish.
One particular memory stands out: a cake bought for the father’s 64th birthday. Although he appreciated the gesture, he had long projected an image of selflessness, making the celebration feel out of place. He even went on to mow the lawn afterward, showing that to him, it was just another day.
The author’s mother believed birthdays were meant for children, a view that amused the author’s grandmother, who lived to be 100. As the author approaches their own birthday, they ponder the balance between acknowledging age and celebrating it. They recognize that while their parents’ avoidance of birthdays had its reasons, it also led to a disconnect from the passage of time.
The author concludes that birthdays can serve as a reminder of the future and motivate personal goals. They suggest that recognizing birthdays can be done with dignity, rather than frivolity. In this way, birthdays can become a moment of reflection and gratitude, rather than just a day for parties and gifts.