Bedtime routines can be a challenge for parents, especially with young children. One mother, Karen Bleakley, shared her journey from a strict bedtime schedule to a more relaxed approach as her children grew older.
When her kids were little, Bleakley enforced a rigid routine that included a bath, a book, and bed by 7 PM. With three children under the age of three, she found it necessary to stick to this schedule to maintain some sanity and enjoy a few quiet moments for herself before bedtime. For years, their lives revolved around this routine.
Now, her children are 15, 15, and 12, and the situation has changed dramatically. Bleakley has stepped back from enforcing a strict bedtime. Instead, she allows her kids to choose when they go to sleep. Some nights, they go to bed at a reasonable hour, while other times they stay up too late and regret it the next morning. Bleakley believes this approach helps her children learn about the importance of sleep through their own experiences.
She recalls her own childhood, where she had the freedom to decide when to sleep. With this in mind, she checks in on her kids at night but doesn’t impose strict rules. She does remind them when it’s getting late and suggests they put away their devices, but she doesn’t stand over them enforcing lights out—except when she catches them still awake on school nights.
On weekends, the rules are a bit more flexible. Her kids can stay up later, especially if they want to play games like Roblox. They have a system in place that involves discussion and agreements about their weekend sleep schedules. For example, if they stay up late on a Saturday, they need to be in bed early on Sunday night to prepare for school.
Bleakley acknowledges that some parents might think her approach is unusual. After years of sleep deprivation when her children were young, she now cherishes her own sleep routine. She finds that allowing her kids to take charge of their sleep has been a mixed experience. Some nights they wake up refreshed, while other mornings they ask why she didn’t make them go to bed earlier.
Interestingly, Bleakley has noticed that the child she thought would push boundaries often goes to bed first, while another child who usually follows the rules can be found late at night making snacks. As her children grow, she feels her role is shifting from authority to support, guiding them in making their own choices.
After a decade of disrupted sleep, Bleakley is enjoying the freedom of a more relaxed bedtime routine. She believes her children are learning valuable lessons about responsibility and the consequences of their choices. Now, she looks forward to her own restful nights, ready to dive into her next book.