In today’s workplaces, a troubling trend is emerging: successful women undermining each other. Vanessa Vershaw, a high-performance coach and organizational psychologist, highlights this issue as one of the most unsettling dynamics she has observed. Many women who have experienced this type of bullying describe the feeling as being "sucker punched" or "blindsided." They often don’t see it coming, which adds to the emotional impact.
This behavior isn’t just an isolated incident; it’s part of a broader pattern of toxic friendships among women. Vershaw notes that when these relationships sour, they can be emotionally complicated and hard to escape. Women often expect support and kindness from one another, so betrayal feels even worse. It’s as if a sister has turned against you.
The reasons behind this behavior can be traced back to various factors, including competition, social hierarchy, and even evolutionary instincts. These dynamics can lead to subtle forms of sabotage and aggression. Regardless of the cause, staying in harmful relationships is not advisable. It can take a toll on mental health and overall well-being.
If you find yourself in a toxic friendship, it’s important to recognize the signs. If a relationship consistently leaves you feeling drained or stressed, it might be time to step back. Vershaw suggests assessing the situation honestly and determining the type of toxicity involved. Is it disrespectful behavior, or is it more serious bullying?
When deciding how to address a toxic friendship, you have options. Some relationships may need a straightforward breakup conversation, while others might benefit from a gradual distancing. In workplace situations, it’s wise to consult a mentor or human resources for guidance.
Setting clear boundaries is crucial. If you choose to talk about the friendship, be honest and direct. For example, you might say, “I don’t feel our friendship is healthy for me anymore, and I need to step away.”
Leaving a toxic friendship is not an act of cruelty; it’s about self-preservation. It allows you to create space for healthier, more supportive relationships. Ultimately, you have the power to decide the terms of your friendships and relationships.
Vershaw emphasizes that prioritizing your peace is essential. If it means leaving a job or a social circle that no longer serves you, then that’s what you need to do. The goal is to protect your confidence and well-being while pursuing better opportunities.
In a world where women should uplift one another, it’s crucial to recognize when a relationship turns toxic and take the necessary steps to protect yourself.